The Bittersweet and the Masochistic.
Too many changes. Winds blowing from every single direction right into my eyes and mouth. Nearly impossible to see or say anything useful, so writing is hard but I need to put some words down. Is there a patron saint for sanity? Do I have to be Catholic to pray to them?
For those of you who've read my blog posts, you'll remember I'm utterly right brained. Pair this with major life changes in which I'm required to be fantastically emotionally strong for everyone at the Farmcastle, and it's absolute rubbish for having an organized mind. I literally have to pick. It's like deciding if you want hotdogs or bleach, both for totally different purposes.
Some of you may read this and be thinking oh poppycock, you can do it if you've a mind.
To you, I say, how lovely for you that you think from your left side. How fortunate.
But truly, some of you know how tough it is when your precious goblins begin to leave the roost. But, now imagine that instead of one kid at a time, you have three...and your mate heading out too (and before you panic, Prof and I are FINE!).
My artistic, amazing children are slowly heading off into the world with a piece of my heart tucked inside them. The Eldest Child has flown gracefully to University up north to study art, The Beast is now a proper soldier, and the Viking has gone to live with his Mother due to the Professor's soon departure. Ohhhh these sweet kids of mine are going to leave an absence miles wide full of scorched earth inside of me for a while.
The great love of my life, The Professor, must temporarily head out for an extraordinary educational opportunity in one of the greatest learning centers in our country. It's my own fault for falling in love with someone so brilliant. Of course he'll go places. He has to share that brain with the world, I'm not allowed to keep it all to myself (she says grumbling...), so tomorrow he will step down our many stairs for a minimum of 18 months. The last two goblins remaining at home and I will, of course, pop on the train and scram out of this Dodge hole as often as we can, which'll be lovely. Cool, ocean breezes, libraries that would make post-Beast Belle salivate, coffee shops...etc, etc. So, Berkeley will be fantastic. Being without the Professor...like having a kidney extracted.
I'm proud of them all, my family I've done my best to raise kind, smart, and talented goblins who will be independent and strong, ready to face the world head on. As for The Professor, he is brilliant and needs to do what he does best.
So just rip out my heart already.
This giant farmcastle is getting giant-er.
Less goblins means less to clean I'll grant you. I have two older boys who have a tendency to slosh outside the bowl in the restroom, so that I really won't be missing. But just about everything else I will. The hugs, the fussing, life talks, mayhem, and the constant sporadic "I love you." Ugh!
I won't think about it too much, and I'll handle it well except for that one day I'll accidentally think about it.
Sigh...
Listening to "Guinevere" by Crosby Stills & Nash. What a gorgeous song.
Happily, this summer's hump has finally been topped and now we're on the decline. That's BRILLIANT news to the girl who grew up in a small coastal village in Suffolk, England. It's still hot but now the temps are slumping and teasing some kind of break from that in-your-face furnace blast anytime you open the front door. Having your flesh melt off anytime you step outside...people tell me they love it. They are masochists.
Without any more name calling, the dishes are done. That's always a happy thing. Except the Professor did them, and it'll be the last time he does them for a long time. I will miss that sexy Piker. Ever met someone who your soul just understood the first day you met? Still can't believe he gave himself to me for keeping. I love him. His eyes siphon off the intensity of his mind.
I'm waxing poetic, aren't I. But look at these photos and ask if you blame me.
Such beauty.
Time to wrap this up and prepare for kids coming home. Next blog post will be from UC Berkeley, where I'll be settling him into his apartment. Such a time of bittersweet.
Yours Truly as a slightly off tune violin,
M.
P.S., photo of me telling the Professor for the millionth time no, no, darling, I promise you I'm not in the least upset. I'm simply resting.
For those of you who've read my blog posts, you'll remember I'm utterly right brained. Pair this with major life changes in which I'm required to be fantastically emotionally strong for everyone at the Farmcastle, and it's absolute rubbish for having an organized mind. I literally have to pick. It's like deciding if you want hotdogs or bleach, both for totally different purposes.
Some of you may read this and be thinking oh poppycock, you can do it if you've a mind.
To you, I say, how lovely for you that you think from your left side. How fortunate.
But truly, some of you know how tough it is when your precious goblins begin to leave the roost. But, now imagine that instead of one kid at a time, you have three...and your mate heading out too (and before you panic, Prof and I are FINE!).
My artistic, amazing children are slowly heading off into the world with a piece of my heart tucked inside them. The Eldest Child has flown gracefully to University up north to study art, The Beast is now a proper soldier, and the Viking has gone to live with his Mother due to the Professor's soon departure. Ohhhh these sweet kids of mine are going to leave an absence miles wide full of scorched earth inside of me for a while.
The great love of my life, The Professor, must temporarily head out for an extraordinary educational opportunity in one of the greatest learning centers in our country. It's my own fault for falling in love with someone so brilliant. Of course he'll go places. He has to share that brain with the world, I'm not allowed to keep it all to myself (she says grumbling...), so tomorrow he will step down our many stairs for a minimum of 18 months. The last two goblins remaining at home and I will, of course, pop on the train and scram out of this Dodge hole as often as we can, which'll be lovely. Cool, ocean breezes, libraries that would make post-Beast Belle salivate, coffee shops...etc, etc. So, Berkeley will be fantastic. Being without the Professor...like having a kidney extracted.
I'm proud of them all, my family I've done my best to raise kind, smart, and talented goblins who will be independent and strong, ready to face the world head on. As for The Professor, he is brilliant and needs to do what he does best.
So just rip out my heart already.
This giant farmcastle is getting giant-er.
Less goblins means less to clean I'll grant you. I have two older boys who have a tendency to slosh outside the bowl in the restroom, so that I really won't be missing. But just about everything else I will. The hugs, the fussing, life talks, mayhem, and the constant sporadic "I love you." Ugh!
I won't think about it too much, and I'll handle it well except for that one day I'll accidentally think about it.
Sigh...
Listening to "Guinevere" by Crosby Stills & Nash. What a gorgeous song.
Happily, this summer's hump has finally been topped and now we're on the decline. That's BRILLIANT news to the girl who grew up in a small coastal village in Suffolk, England. It's still hot but now the temps are slumping and teasing some kind of break from that in-your-face furnace blast anytime you open the front door. Having your flesh melt off anytime you step outside...people tell me they love it. They are masochists.
Without any more name calling, the dishes are done. That's always a happy thing. Except the Professor did them, and it'll be the last time he does them for a long time. I will miss that sexy Piker. Ever met someone who your soul just understood the first day you met? Still can't believe he gave himself to me for keeping. I love him. His eyes siphon off the intensity of his mind.
I'm waxing poetic, aren't I. But look at these photos and ask if you blame me.
Time to wrap this up and prepare for kids coming home. Next blog post will be from UC Berkeley, where I'll be settling him into his apartment. Such a time of bittersweet.
Yours Truly as a slightly off tune violin,
M.
P.S., photo of me telling the Professor for the millionth time no, no, darling, I promise you I'm not in the least upset. I'm simply resting.
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