New Everything.

Been a tense, shocking week.  I'm actually afraid to journey too far through several specific tunnels of my mind for fear of being electrocuted.  Simplicity is a coveted reality, and despite the gut-knowing that The Snape and I are on our way to that ending, its the Minotaur in the middle that's a reckoning challenge.

Life continuing on, The Snapelings continue to amazing me with their ever growing sense of self, so that's where I've allowed my mind to reside in as best I can.  Between sorting through school uniforms, The Troubadour child experimenting with 'Chinese Rice,' The Beast child perfecting on his insane art skills,The Viking child startling me with his finger-squishing spider courage, The Eldest Child and her emotional school drama, and the Fairy child with her lithe little padding feet and happy spirit, I felt very comforted by just be getting to be a Mother. The Snape was present throughout, which was an unexpected gift.

Most of my current tension stems from protectiveness of him.  The gorgeous man has a sensitive underbelly that most people don't believe exists.  They believe the part where he's quite sarcastic, quick to temper and disdainful if poked or prodded too much, but they don't get the privilege of seeing how he lives very quietly, sensitively, and how he has this little boy smile when he genuinely understands he's pleased the kids or I with something he's done.  He lives well in the quiet of his home on our secluded property, and in his studies confined in the tree top tower, where the incredible intensity of his mind produces the brilliance it does.

I understand that his works speak for what he is incapable of spilling in normal conversation.  Writing he can edit and re-edit and then do it again.  His immediate natural intensity cannot be edited in conversation and that's what gets him in to trouble, and though he is wise enough to understand this, he cannot always control himself in the moment.  It's his unending source of self loathing.

This causes a reclusiveness if we are not careful. Once he's there it's challenging to break him out.

So, he writes and writes in the way all brilliant minded men do.  And I brave pulling him from the tower every now and again to help him remember he's a human being, and he needs to be touched, heard, and made to laugh.  I know what happens when these reminders aren't given to him, and it both frightens and saddens me.  It's a dark place he can barely find his way around in and he knows he can rely on me to keep pulling him from that abyss.

This new book he wrote, of course it's incredible.  It's also deliciously controversial, but not without research to back up claims.  God I love his mind. The critics are having their way with it, and though the criticisms are becoming very personal, I believe it's going to be established as a great, great work.  His gift isn't capable of anything less.  Penetrating through the steel walls of his skull in order to tell him this is the honor I have.  Watching him stand alone in the breakthrough of ideas without wavering is incredible.  He doesn't waver in truth, something I've seen most everyone I know buckle under at some point.

I so do believe in this man.  I love that I get to be the woman who believes and sees him.  I'm so blessed.